


We Don't Wanna Die Alone

by goodgirlfaith (boomersoonerash)



Series: 52 Weeks of Stories 2 [3]
Category: 5 Seconds of Summer (Band), Selena Gomez (Musician)
Genre: Alternate Universe, Alternate Universe - Canon Divergence, Alternate Universe - Non-Famous, Angst, Break Up, Conversations, F/M, Friends With Benefits, Heartbreak, Past Relationship(s), Pining
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-09-10
Updated: 2018-09-10
Packaged: 2019-07-10 14:57:57
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,510
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/15951692
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/boomersoonerash/pseuds/goodgirlfaith
Summary: Selena and Luke have a talk after Luke ends their friends with benefits arrangement.





	We Don't Wanna Die Alone

**Author's Note:**

> Prompt: Juicy

Rolling her eyes, Selena looked over at Taylor as she helped to prepare her friend's apartment for the fourth of July party that Taylor was throwing.

Taylor usually going all out even if she lived in a tiny apartment because it was Taylor and that was just who she was. She was someone who loved to throw a good party.

"So, I think Karlie invited Luke," Taylor spoke slowly as she turned to look at Selena. Selena not surprised to see a wary look on her friends face.

Taylor had every right to be wary because Luke was her ex well, not really an ex as they hadn't dated but they had hooked up long enough that it could be considered dating.

They were almost dating but there was no words for people who almost dated but didn't.

"And you're just now telling me?" Selena asked her with a raised eyebrow. "The party is tonight and you're telling me this now?"

Taylor shrugged as she walked to where Selena was, sitting up the alcohol and booze. Though Selena wouldn't indulge in alcohol tonight. She was supposed to be the designated driver for her friends who she was bringing tonight. So tonight it was probably going to be juicy juice for her.

If they even still made juicy juice. But either way it wasn't going to be alcohol. Which meant when she saw Luke tonight it was going to be while sober and she was regretting the decision to be the designated driver.

"I wasn't sure how to tell you sooner," Taylor sighed as she chewed on her lip. "I know that you took it hard when whatever it was you had with Luke fell apart. But he's Karlie's friend and I can't tell my girlfriend not to invite friends."

Selena let out a sigh because she knew Taylor had a point. Though a small part of her wished that Taylor could do that.

"I'll get over it," Selena finally said as she forced a smile. "I'll get over it and be a big girl if I see Luke tonight," she nodded her head.

As she nodded she hoped she could keep her word. She hoped that she would be able to control herself around Luke. But she still had an intense need to know why he had just went silent on her. Why he had stopped responding to her texts when she wanted to hang out either platonically or non platonic.

*****

Chewing her lip, Selena sat on Taylor's balcony, listening as the music from inside could be heard from outside even with the balcony door closed. Selena knowing she would have loved to been inside but she had spotted Luke almost thirty minutes into the party with some brunette who was cuter than her and she just couldn't stay.

Hating that her heart hurt at the sight but at least it seemed she now had the answers she wanted. She now knew why he had just ghosted her out of his life.

He had found someone he wanted to date. Someone who wasn't her and maybe she was a damn fool. Maybe she should have told him when they started hooking up that she'd probably fall for him and want more.

After all they had been friends since freshman year of college and now here they were in their senior year and she was head over heels for him. Having had a crush on him before they even started having sex and maybe the old saying was true.

Friends should never have sex because things always got messy.

Coming out of her thoughts though when she heard the balcony door open, Selena turned her head. Feeling as if her heart stopped when she saw Luke come outside.

Their eyes locking in the dark and Selena hated her luck because he was the last person she wanted to see. He was the last person she needed to see.

"I umm..I saw you come out here," Luke stated as he moved to sit down in a chair beside her. "Figured you came out here to avoid me."

Selena had to physically bite her tongue from being blunt and telling him that was exactly why she had came out here.

"No," she lied instead hating how even to her own ears her words sounded like lies. "I just needed some air."

Luke snorted as he ran a hand through his shaggy, curly hair, "You're such a shit liar," he told her which made her cheeks burn as she blushed. "I know you came out here because of me so the least you can do is tell me the truth Sel."

"Do we ever tell each other the truth at all though, Lu?" Selena asked as she looked away from him. 

They had started with a lie when they said after the first time they had sex they wouldn't have sex again and then they did...for an entire year.

So what was the use in telling the truth when it seemed they both liked to lie.

"Nope, but we could start tonight," Luke answered, his words making Selena turn to look at him because she hadn't expected honesty from him. 

She had expected him to lie like they were both accustomed to doing.

"You came out here to avoid me," Luke continued in her silence. "Not that I can blame you because I've been a shit friend the last four months."

"Shit friend?" Selena asked as she raised her eyebrow. "You haven't even been a friend," she sighed with a frown. "You've been ignoring me and I have no clue why," she told him because it was the truth.

She may have suspected it was because of the girl he showed up here with but she wasn't positive. She wasn't in Luke's head even if sometimes she wished she was.

He'd be easier to understand then more than likely.

Now it was Luke who looked away, his hand once again going through his hair. Selena almost sure that though it was dark she could see a look of guilt on his face.

Which he deserved. He deserved to feel guilty because that had been horrible of him. 

"I pulled away because I was scared," Luke finally spoke up after several minutes of silence. "Like I said I was shitty and I know it. I took the road of being a coward instead of being honest."

"Being honest about what?" Selena asked him as she felt her heart start to beat faster, afraid of whatever he was going to say to her.

Because what did he have to be honest about? The fact that he found someone who he wanted a relationship with. Someone who wasn't her.

At least that's what her brain kept telling her in the end.

"The fact that I had feelings for you," Luke spoke his words soft and they surprised Selena because that wasn't what she had expected to hear from him. "I had feelings for you and I was so scared of being rejected."

Going silent it was Selena's turn to run a hand through her hair. Her brain trying to think of things to say, but for now, it seemed she was rendered silent.

"I had feelings for you too," she finally admitted not sure why she was using past tense. She still had feelings for him and she had longed for him to like her too.

Which was why she felt bittersweet that he had finally admitted to liking her now. After months of ignoring her and making her feel like shit for no reason other than his own fear of rejection.

"So you don't have feelings for me anymore Sel?" Luke asked her and he sounded almost hurt. 

It was a feeling she knew he deserved as well. Just like he would have deserved it if she didn't have feelings for him anymore either.

"I do," Selena confessed her voice soft. "But I'm not sure if I want a relationship with you now," she told him as she swallowed over a lump in her throat, not wanting to cry in front of him. Not wanting to show weakness in front of him because that was something he didn't deserve.

He didn't deserve to know just how bad he made her feel. No man, got to have that type of power over her, no matter how much she loved them or how good their dick was.

Luke nodded like he was okay with her words. Like he could live with not dating her.

"If it's meant to happen it will happen in its own time."

"Right," Selena muttered hoping Luke didn't hear the way her voice cracked. "If it's meant to happen it will happen," she repeated.

Before either of them could say anything else, the brunette who Luke was with opened the door as she looked between them wordlessly and the air felt thick with tension.

Selena watching as Luke just stood wordlessly, heading inside with the brunette. Selena finally choosing then to cry.


End file.
